Revamp and my Light in the Darkness project.
Since coming home from South-Africa and coming home to... everything, I have been feeling aggressive. No surprise to me, it is my default response to a huge amount of stress that we are dealing with, or to being in a situation that could anger or depress me. I don't become sad, sulky or stay in bed, instead, I have no patience for anything and everything can make me lash out. If a door slightly touches my elbow as it moves in a draft, I enrage for three seconds and slam it with the power of a thousand suns, and then go on as if nothing happened. Now, I don't have a problem with staying at home for a longer period, but the situation has disabled a lot of things that I intended to do, and that sense of loss has spiralled me into the mental state that I am currently in. Luckily, I know myself pretty well, and what I most need is to rekindle myself and burn up that anger.
Which started what I call my Light in the Darkness project, where I attempt to succeed in a few projects that I had been meaning to do for a while, but never had the time to do. Now that school is closed and jobs are scarce anyway, I can channel my energy in my blog and other projects. There has never been a better opportunity to start what was meant to be, and it makes me get up at six, it makes me want to get ahead of the game. A light in the Darkness can be little things, like the new appliances my sweet dad has arranged for me that I showed on Instagram, it can see new subscribers popping up in my inbox, making that tray of cookies or seeing my excersize progress in the mirror. Anything that combats that feeling of immobility that the current standstill tortures us with. Some do this by progressing through games, I praise that and it’s a theme I will explore. I have a library full of games that I never played, and considering I believe I’m rather bad at most platformer-games, I will probably at some point humiliate myself with this over the internet. But your light can be to help others and that is amazing too. I’ve never felt powerful enough to actively do more than to donate the occasional leftover grocery money to a charity. Hopefully, the surge of strength from my projects will change this. Step one was revamping the website so it looks like something I can be truly proud of, the second step is to set a few trains in motion and start using the platforms I've set up a while ago. I will finally show you what South-Africa was like, perhaps I will also (two years late) show you what Portugal was like, and I hope to make more videos like that as soon as this situation has resolved. I'm all for daily blogs and vlogs, however, I spend most of my time these days in my morning robe with a cup of tea in my hand, bitterly glaring out of the window at all the people in the park still disregarding the measures. I can't imagine that it would be interesting to watch! I have all the tools set up to start creating my own content while working on my writing in the background, post articles with my peppered opinion, make new connections and make that light stronger as I progress. Soon I hope to introduce you to Terri Tells, Terri talks, Terri Travels, and Terri Tries, but we will see how far I will go with these projects.