My vision: how I'm doing with my fight mode.
My road to success.
A while ago, in one of my articles about stressed, I opened up to you and told you about how the pandemic has put me in some sort of "permanent fight mode". When me and my fiancé were forced to say goodbye, I became hyper productive to compensate for that event. Reflecting on this was part of my road to get rid of stress. Did I manage to get out of fight mode?
A few weeks ago, my fiancé finally managed to get on a plane and stay with me for a while. A part me hoped it meant I'd calm down a little, a part of me was scared that I would. Even if it came from a place of stress, I felt like I thrived under the constant stream of power that this panic mode had given me. Never before had I seen so clearly what I want, and this time I didn't see the odds as my enemy, but as a challenge. I know what I want, I know how to get it, and the "what if I fail" doesn't scare me.
Every wrong is a step on the ladder to good.
Every time you answer a question wrong, you learn the right answer. Every time you do something the wrong way, you've learned another way to do it right.
You never truly fail, you just find ways how it doesn't work, and therefore you eliminate variables that stop you from succeeding. The more you fail, the less random success becomes, the more certain it becomes. So, I guess the answer is no? Maybe I managed to convert it, from a pressure to perform to a drive to run like the wind. Call me crazy, but I feel like this event in my life has taught me a new skill: to transform stress into power. If, somehow, the trauma's of this year enable me to go after my success and make my dreams come true, did my suffering empower me to become who I meant to be?
Let's hope so. I do not welcome another push. I do have a lot planned for the future, for this blog and for my other projects. This, while I'm figuring out how to make sure this flame within me that I gained from my fight mode, does not die. Once I know how to maintain the unending flame of motivation, I'll let you know. And I'll take you along on my journey to eliminate the variables. Until next time!